Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Locked in my room

Well, I was locked in my room this morning. LOL!

Well, not actually locked, but I couldn't leave because my brother-in-law was over and my husband wasn't home. This ends up happening sometimes because my bro-in-law (we'll call him A) will sleep over sometimes and my husband leaves for works usually around 8:30 am and A, who is younger than my husband and unmarried, doesn't go to work until later.

So, when I wake up I have to listen or check if he's outside and then I just stay in my room until he leaves. I can't just wake up and tell him to leave because I would feel really awkward doing that, even though I know Islamically I should.  So, I do the next best thing and avoid all contact with the outside world.

I've told my husband many times that it's really weird for me if A is here and he is not, but he also doesn't want to say anything to his brother because he doesn't want it to seem like we don't want him here. He's a nice guy and very respectful, but I guess he just doesn't understand not to come when his brother isn't here.

Inshallah, we are looking for a wife for him, so the sooner he gets married, the sooner he'll be coming over with his wife and that will be much better for me!

Any advice on how to handle the situation without having feelings get hurt?

Until next time...


  1. so i finally got round to checking out some of my followers and was totally delighted to come across this one - its beautiful... and very close to my heart... as i feel a flower of faith has started to open up within me during the last 6 months... I share a lot of your thoughts...
    Smaira x

  2. salaam alaikum,

    Thats a tricky one... is there a reason his BIL sleeps over from time to time? Does he live far away? Your husband could tell his brother that in the morning he will drive him home, that way he will take a hint that he should leave. Theres really no gentle way of beating around the bush, hes just going to have to explain to him that when hes not there it would be better if he didnt come since you are home. Its a good way for him to make dawah as well. he can have a heart to heart with him about islam and why his brother shouldnt be there when he is not. He could also mention that its hard for you to leave your room when he is there. It sounds like the best thing to do is not have him sleep over anymore.

  3. i could just imagine how awkward that situation. In fact i'd do the same thing. I hope your bro in law will become enlightened and realize how innapropriate his actions are. He should already notice and get the clue that you don't go out of the room at all.He should already wonder. Anyway, goodluck and i hope he'll find himself a wife soon :-)

  4. How about having your husband "tell him a story" (made up or real) of a friend or relative in that same situation.... and casually finishing up with "and you know, "X", would make sure to leave the house with his brother in the morning so his (the brother's wife) wife would be free to do her things in the morning as she wakes up.." Perhaps he'll get the message that way.. indirectly!

    Or, your husband could make reference (in casual conversation.. otherwise it doesn't work) to a story of Nabi(saw) or the Sahaba(ra) dealing with 'modesty in women'... or brothers-in-laws... you know?! casually.. perhaps it would ring a bell on his head!

    Or if they are watching TV together perhaps your husband can bring up the subject using a situation from whatever they are watching... if it's a soap-opera there would be countless opportunities!!! ...but I'm sure even looking at commercials something's bound to come up.

    I hope this helps... but the best way is MAKE DU'AA and Allah will surely put understanding in his heart!!! ...that one's been tried and tested! :D